- 620+ of the funniest and weirdest pics I've ever seen -click-
- My favorite 30 from the above collection -click- *new*
- My collection of awesome mini-programs -click-
- My small collection of short video clips which are hilarious/cool -click- *Lots more!*
- My personal photo album -click-
- Contact info here -click-
- My favorite mp3's -click-
- A collection of my best writings -click-
- Linkworthy Websites! -click- **Send me some!**
Although this page is still under massive construction, here are the sections I currently have up:
Have a file, picture, video, mp3, comment, question, or ANYTHING you wanna send/say to me?! E-mail me at Crystal-X@crystal-x.com! Or just tell me you like the site!! I love hearin from you people!
If something is broken, please notify me ASAP here
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Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. The
panhandlers begging for money and grinning from behind my back. The squeegee men dirtying
up my clean windshield. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sheiks and the Pakistanis, bombing
down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day.
Terrorist in fucking training; slow the fuck down!! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxes
chests and pumped up biceps, going down on each other in my parks and jingling their dicks
on my channel 35! Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit; their
tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. 10 years in the country still no-speak-ee-English?
Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafes, sipping tea in little
glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth, wheeling and dealing and scheming. Go back where
you fucking came from! Fuck the black hated Hasidim, strolling up and down 47th street in
their dirty gabardine with their dandruff, selling South African Partite diamonds. Fuck
the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe; Michael Douglas, Gordon
Gecko, wannabe mother fuckers figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send
those Enron assholes to jail for FUCKING LIFE! You think Bush and Chaney didn’t know
about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco, Adelphia, WorldCom… Fuck the Puerto
Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fucking parade in the city. And
don’t even get me started on the Dominicans because they make the Puerto Ricans look
good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, nylon warm-up suits, and
their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their Jason Giambi Louisville slugger baseball
bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the upper-east side wives with their
Hermes scarves and their thousand dollar Balducci artichokes; over pinched faces getting
pulled and lifted and stretched all tart and shiny. You’re not fooling anybody
sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, the don’t want to
play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop, and then they want to turn
around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended 137 years ago, MOVE THE FUCK
ON! Fuck the corrupt cops blasting through red lights on their way to Krispy Kreme, with
their 41 shots, standing behind the blue wall of silence: you betrayed our trust! Fuck the
priests who put their hands down some innocent child’s pants. Fuck the church that
protects them delivering us into evil, and while you’re at it, FUCK J.C., he got off
easy: a day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the halleluiahs for eternity. Try
seven years in fucking Otisville J! FUCK Osama Bin Ladin, Al-Qaeda, and backward-ass cave
dwelling fundamentalist assholes everywhere. I pray you spend the rest of eternity
roasting in a jet fuel fire in Hell! You towel-headed camel jockeys can KISS MY ROYAL ASS!
Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the duplexes of
Park Avenue, from the project of the Bronx to the lofts in Soho, from Bellevue Hospital to
the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park Slope. Let an earthquake crumble
it, let it burn to fucking ash! No… No… Fuck you XXX XXXXX. You had it all
and you threw it away you DUMB FUCK!...
